Sunday, February 22, 2009

An Open Letter to Dr Michael Sutcliffe

Dear Dr. Sutcliffe,

In these tough economic times, I have the utmost respect for any well thought out cost saving idea. It is therefore with admiration for you that I write this letter.

Your idea to reduce the frequency at which the eThekwini Municipality cuts the grass at the various parks and verges across the greater Durban area is a masterstroke in budget cutting, and shows incredible foresight for the tough economic climate we are now facing. Never mind that Durban has taken on a distinctly dishevelled and unkempt look since the implementation of this brilliant strategy, since it blends in well with the filthy state of our streets, and city as a whole.

But you didn’t stop there. The idea to not remove the cut grass after the area has been trimmed is absolute genius. Never mind that the cut grass collects in gutters and blocks storm water drains. I’m sure the pooling of water from this has had nothing to do with the increasing number of potholes and deteriorating road system in Durban. I’m sure this is just from pure neglect, or maybe some other brilliant cost saving idea I'm not even aware of yet.



As a regular user of the N2 ring road I have noticed that during a downpour that large puddles form is some areas, and streams of water cross the road in others. This can be lethal if a vehicle aquaplanes in this water, as even experienced drivers may lose control. I’m sure this worsening situation has nothing to do with the drainage system being blocked by the cut grass, but I’m guessing it probably doesn’t help. And so what if a few lives are lost? The sacrifice of a few innocent people is sometimes necessary for the greater good of the people.

I’m sure these ideas have saved the Municipality a fortune; money desperately required to finance essential projects like the renaming of streets with names that hark back to our evil apartheid past. I know that everyone in Durban North breathed a sigh of relief to see such offensive names as Kensington Drive and Broadway removed once and for all. The local community’s close ties with Fidel Castro and SWAPO have at long last suitable representation. I know a small rebel faction may have defaced these new signs, but thankfully our esteemed mayor, Mr Obed Mlaba, and yourself had sufficient time on your hands, and the necessary resources, to head up a cleanup team. That sure put the rebels in their place!



In closing, I would like to thank you again for the sterling job you are doing as City Manager. Durban may never have looked quite as shabby, but I’m sure you have a plan to spruce things up before we come under the international spotlight in 2010. I only hope that you have some more good ideas to raise money to pay for it.

Yours sincerely
Bruce Attridge